Why I'm Not Interested in Surviving...

I am a wife, a non-essential business owner and I have two kiddos. Like many moms and dads, I have been busy putting together worksheets, printing coloring pages, scheduling online classes, making three nutritious meals a day + snacks, boosting everyone’s immune systems and, ya know... trying to keep a pulse on my business. Simple, right? No big deal, I’ve got this.

Oh wait, I forgot…can you hear it? Everything is SOOOO FLIPPING LOOOUUUD right now; I feel like I’m being yelled at all day long! 🙉

Wash your hands! Social Distancing! Everything is cancelled! 50 activities you NEED to successfully Home school your kids! Boost your immune system! Be a good spouse! And for the love of god, WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER??????

All of it…all at once…for the past few weeks or so…on FULL VOLUME! 📢📢📢

I can't... I just can't! 😩😩

Guys, we FEED off each other. It is a natural phenomenon that occurs with very little thought or effort on our part. We are like little charging stations, running around sharing whatever energy we carry with the people around us. It spreads at a much faster rate than this virus (sorry, I don’t have a chart to show you the spread rate comparison). Some of the energy is good and some of that energy is bad, but the real question we should ask ourselves is, is it NECESSARY?

I hope that by the time you are done reading this you will feel encouraged to let go of the unnecessary and lean into a better use of energy.

Now, I'm about to say something that you may not like. I didn't like it either the first time I heard it, but we’ve been given the gift of…………ready for it…………………Time. Yep, I said it. (Don’t leave yet, I promise this gets good.)

OUCH…I had the same irritated reaction, at first. My insides cringed and my eyes rolled as this thought entered my head.

Can I be honest? I don’t FEEL like this is a gift at all. I have a business that can't operate right now, children that really need to be developing with their friends and qualified teachers, bills that still have to get paid despite having a business that can't operate right now and this is going to put me and a lot of other people in hurting spots. Not a gift!

Insert inner grumblings and folded arms here. 😡

Yep, I have legitimate fears and frustrations and I am just as human as the next person. I have stuff I want to protect and dreams I was working my butt off to see come true. Every day that passes me by without some kind of success or advancement encourages feelings of disappointment and discouragement. It's hard.

Do I feel bad having these fears while people are getting sick and dying around me? Yep, I sure do. Great, now I have anxiety and shame to add to my list of things to manage.

Ugh…

Here’s the bottom line. I have no control over what's going to happen and I HATE it!

But here's the good news...I CAN influence a positive end to my story!

How? By accepting this gift of time. How do I do that? Simple. Drop what is unnecessary at the moment and refocus my energy toward activities that have the capabilities of driving me head first into my desired outcome.

Here's the reality. One way or another, the majority of us are going to survive. But hear me when I say...

I don’t want to just SURVIVE, I want to THRIVE!

But the truth is, if I focus solely on survival, I'm going to miss opportunities for deeper growth, which will inevitably kill any chance I had at greater success.

This applies to everything; my relationships, my faith, my parenting, my professional life...all of it!

There are only two choices for me…I can wake up every single morning and lean into disappointment and fear over my current circumstances OR I can wake up every morning, with an accepting attitude of what is going on right now, acknowledge my feelings about them and then use my energy to engage in activities that are beneficial to my current situation, the people around me and that will set me up for a successful future.

The first option flat out sucks, so what does anyone have to lose by trying option 2?

Let me also say that perfection has NO PLACE here. There are days I am going to grieve for the things I have lost and there will be days I will lean into excited anticipation of the future. This is juuuuuuust fine. No one needs to go around putting on fake happy faces pretending that they are unscathed by this. This situation, stinks. I'm not talking about pretending it doesn't. I'm talking about taking the reigns of our energy and steering them toward success.

When this is all over, I may have a recovery period for some areas in my life. What I want to do is use this time to make sure I'm in the best possible situation to hit the ground running when I'm given the freedom to do so.

Here's my current game plan:

I am accepting my current reality. This happens to be a highly concerning illness traveling the world right now and I’ve been asked to SLOW DOWN in some areas and completely STOP in some other areas, for the sake of public health and the health of my own family.
This, unfortunately, is not a financially supported vacation for me. I will be responsible with the money I have and seek support if/when I need it. I will not freak out.
As a mom, I am accepting the fact that I am NOT A TEACHER and that kids don’t need a full day of home school curriculum to keep their brains active. 1-2 hours a day of structured activity is plenty for my 6 and 8 year old. Other than that I am focusing on keeping them emotionally healthy as to avoid any traumatic memories of this time.
I will handle issues only as they appear and only IF it is absolutely necessary for me to handle it immediately. I will not spend my time dreaming up and trying to fix all the bad things that could go wrong.
I am going to avoid anything that makes me feel panicked, like I’m missing out, or like just a little more effort would make me a better wife, mother, friend, photographer….etc. Instead, I will give my attention to those activities that will add the greatest value to my family, my soul and to my business. I will view this time as an opportunity to grow personally and professionally.

Listen up!

No one is judging your messy house and your laundry basket full of clothes. Sit down and rest.

No one is earning extra credit points for being a great teacher without any qualifications. Pick a few engaging activities for the day, then play with them.

No one is experiencing huge successes right now, leaving you in the dust. Stop believing the lie that you're missing out.

This is not a time of harvest for anyone!

What this is, is a time of re-connection, preparation and nourishment. Feed your soul, strengthen your relationships, if you're in any kind of spot to help someone out, do it and if you operate a business, start revitalizing your business plans so when this ends…and this will end…you are rested and READY!

Listen, my life has felt like an absolute shit show for a number of years now. If you know my story, you also know that is the absolute perfect description for what I've been through. By November 2019 I had enough! I leased my first studio, revamped my vision, reset my heart and blazed right into 2020 with this new energetic, failure is not an option attitude! Annnnnnnd....... I got kicked in the shins!

I also very well know I'm not the only one; which honestly, has been the only piece of solace in all of this.

No one ever expected any of this and if you're in a place of struggle right now, I am so so sorry. We may not all be struggling in the same way but each of us IS experiencing some kind of struggle.

I’m hitting the breaks on the unnecessary, turning down the noise and putting my energy to better use and I hope this has encouraged you to do the same.

I'd love to hear from you. Take a day to relax and reset your focus. I hope the beginning of next week has you fully armed with a game plan of your own.

Take care!

~Sharon